high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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