Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
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I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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