i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
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It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
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Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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