he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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