I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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