party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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