fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize