Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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