my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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