I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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