last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize