Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Randomize