A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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