So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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