I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize