And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
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