If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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