Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize