So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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