But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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