I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
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I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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