i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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