I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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