Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize