were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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