I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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