Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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