I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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