dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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