I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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