I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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