I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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