Umm I'm too high to move.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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