***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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