I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize