i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize