I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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