dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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