I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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