He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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