giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
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i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
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She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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