She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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