shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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