ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize