So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize