At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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