I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize