i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize