I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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