I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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